Dreaming of Code Pink

I would like to tell you about a dream I had. First, though, you must solemnly swear this oath, "I (insert full name) do solemnly swear that I will not reveal this dream in a court of law should Kristina ever actually do this." Okay, now I can tell you my dream.

Gary was deployed. The boys and I were going somewhere to file some military paperwork. We were downtown. (I'm not sure why we were downtown. The base would be much more logical, but dreams aren't logical.) For some reason, Code Pink is picketing the place we are going. I am trying to get through the line of picketers with my 11 year old, 8 year old, and 5 year old sons. There are people chanting, "Baby killers. Baby killers." One of the Code Pink men spits on me. So, I hauled off and punched him. He, of course, fell down. So, I proceeded to beat the tar out of him.

Now, I'm not a violent person. But, really Code Pink ticks me off royally. This was such a wonderful dream that, when I'm feeling a bit depressed, I daydream it. It just makes me feel so much better! But, I know this situation would not end well. Even if I just socked the guy, I would probably be arrested. They would take my kids... So, this is not likely to happen... Unless, I'm alone.....

Another Wonderful Parent

Most people won't consider an apprenticeship these days. Apparently this man thinks teaching his sons the family business is a great idea. Way to go, Dad!

Washington Father Uses Two Young Sons in Attempted Burglary

The Elements Song

Because I love the Elements Song

Grief

I was reading an email today from a woman whose mother died about six months ago. During that six months, she has been extremely busy. She feels that she has not had time to grieve. And, she's right.

Grieving is an important part of life. We grieve for many things in many different ways. We grieve for lost pets and lost football games. We grieve for our misspent youth, and opportunities lost. But, nothing quite impacts us like the death of a loved one. Grieving allows us to continue with our lives. If we take the time to grieve, we can move forward and not be constantly forced back into grieving against our will.

Grief is a powerful emotion. It can put you in the blackest despair. It can lie in wait for the moment you least expect it and jump up, grabbing you by the throat and forcing you into tears. Grief is not an emotion to be taken lightly. You go along in our lives, burdened with the mundane. Grief, in the meantime, waits patiently for you to show weakness. It waits for the day when something reminds you of your loss, then it strikes. It can bring you to your knees, and frequently does. Grief, like cancer, is not something to be ignored. It won't go away just because you ignore it. Instead, it morphs into other things, like anger, recklessness, and even suicide. But, many people today put grief on a back burner. They are so busy, they forget to take the time to grieve.

The help guide says that

Loss that goes unacknowledged or unattended can result in disability. But grief that is expressed and experienced has a potential for healing that eventually can strengthen and enrich life. There is no right or wrong way to grieve — but there are ways to make your grieving more complete and more positive.

There are many components of grief, including denial, anger, and depression. Another aspect of grief is the trauma that can come from a sudden death.

Grief tends to be mixed with trauma when a loss is sudden and unexpected — a fatal heart attack, an accident, a murder — or it’s perceived as being outside the normal cycle of life, as in the death of a child. For example, someone who nurses a spouse through a long illness will grieve when the spouse is gone, but the person who witnesses the sudden death of a spouse in a car crash will likely be traumatized as well. A sudden loss can be even more difficult to deal with if you don’t have a socially recognized outlet for mourning, as may be the case with a miscarriage or stillbirth.

While trauma always incorporates grief, the two states are very different in how you experience them and what effect they can have on you. Grief is a normal reaction to loss, with its symptoms diminishing over time. On the other hand, trauma is a disabling reaction that can block the grieving process, disrupt your life, and leave you psychologically vulnerable. If you are coping with a traumatic loss, you may want to think about turning to a counselor or other professional for help.

Miscarriage and stillbirth, or the loss of a newborn, can effect a family immensely. When parents are unable to grieve together, frequently, their grief cause marital problems. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of losing a child. I do want to mention here a service that I would love to see all photographers provide. The Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation

The Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation (NILMDTS) administers a network of almost 6,000 volunteer photographers in the United States and twenty-five international countries. At a family's request, a NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer will come to your hospital or hospice location and conduct a sensitive and private portrait session. The portraits are then professionally retouched and presented to the families on an archival DVD or CD that can be used to print portraits of their cherished baby.

Our entire network of affiliated photographers graciously donate their time and talents to our families and we are proud to be able to offer our services at no cost.Your Donations are greatly needed and greatly appreciated.

But, this is not a fundraising post. This is about the grieving process. Too many people forget that grieving takes time. It takes the effort of not only ourselves, but those around us. If you know someone who has suffered a loss, call them. Send them flowers or a card to let them know you're thinking of them. And, if you have suffered a loss, take a moment. Take several moments and grieve.

Parenting Skills?

When I became a parent, there were certain things that I gave up and certain things I determined to reduce. I gave up bar hopping. Okay, fine, I gave that up before I became a parent. Still, I didn't continue it. I gave up "me" time. I gave up cursing. (Since I have restarted cursing, I can say that it is reduced and almost nonexistent when Gary is not home.) There are, of course, other things that I just can't think of right now. But, one of the most important things I gave up was the ability to watch whatever I want, whenever I want, on T.V.

Now, really, this is no great loss. I frequently forget the T.V. is down there. And, if I really want to watch something the kids shouldn't watch, I wait until they are in bed or otherwise occupied. But, apparently, not all parents do that. In fact, not all parents believe their children should be protected from T.V. shows and movies. They believe it is okay for them to watch many things that if someone was doing those things in their living rooms, they would call the police.

Let's think about this for a moment. A friend allowed their three year old to watch "The Mummy" repeatedly and then wonders why their child has nightmares. Another friend took their six and eight year olds to watch "The Day After Tomorrow" and then wonders why their child is scared of dying in a blizzard. Another friend allows their eight year old daughter to watch Britteny Spears (this was several years ago) and then wonders why the child is so sexualized.

The things we watch effect us, as adults. How much more do they effect our children? Many adults refuse to watch horror movies because they give them nightmares. I'm one of those. I don't watch Law & Order SVU because it makes me paranoid around my children. But, many parents allow their children to watch whatever they want to. They seem to believe that children have the ability to discern for themselves what is good to watch. Most of the time, they are wrong.

Take, for example, my own children. They would love to vegetate on the couch and watch Disney and Nick teen shows all night long. I have a few problems with those shows.

First, the attitude of the teens in those shows is horrible. When a child is repeatedly exposed to someone being a smart alack and rude, and that character is always getting the most laughs, that child is going to think the way to get laughs is to be a smart alack and rude. For a child who thinks comedy is the be all, end all of life, this is going to cause a lot of problems. The child begins to emulate, sometimes subconsciously, the characters that are getting the most laughs. Soon, you are looking at your child wondering, "When did you become so rude, and how?"

Second, there is way too much romance going on in these shows. Now, I'm not talking about blatant sex. I'm talking about the fact that all the girls' and guys' main goal seems to be getting a boy/girlfriend. Now, I'm attempting to teach my children that having a girlfriend as a teenager is probably not the best plan, and really, is not desirable. Right now, my children agree with me that dating should not be done until they are ready to start looking for a mate. This doesn't happen when you are thirteen, no matter what all the thirteen year old girls think.

Third, the commercials that are on during these shows are frequently for things that I consider inappropriate. So, even if the show was fine, it would be nixed because of the commercials. Even 30 seconds can have an effect on children.

So, it came as no surprise to me to read that Teen Pregnancy Linked to Watching Sexy TV Shows. Yet, there are actually saying the evidence is inconclusive. Get your head out of the sand, people. What our children and teenagers are exposed to, they are influenced by.

Review Tuesday 11-11-2008

Since today is Veterans' Day, I decided to do a Veterans' Day themed Review Tuesday. First, let me thank all our veterans. I especially want to thank my husband for serving our country. It means a lot to me. Thank you.

Now, for our website this week, http://www.military.com/. For our product, I want to review a shirt put out by Ranger Up, and for the book, a wonderful story about the Vietnam Memorial, The Wall, by Eve Bunting.


First, http://www.military.com/: This is an invaluable resource to military personnel, both active and retired, and their families. Each week, I get an email from them that has information that is pertinent to me. Frequently, there is stuff in there that I have no need for. However, they always include information about pay changes, health care benefits, and military discounts. Each week, they feature a civilian job that you could use various military training to transition into. This is an excellent source for news and information about the military, as well.

Then, there's this shirt:

This is a beautiful shirt from Ranger Up. I received mine on Thursday. I like the way you are wearing a yellow ribbon without it being a big yellow bow. I will throw in some caveats. This shirt is a close fitting shirt. If you prefer your shirts to be loose fitting, this is probably not the shirt for you. Second, this shirt has a deep v-neck. Unless you wear another shirt under it, chances are, you'll be showing some cleavage. Third, it is paper thin. It is easy to see through. I recommend a camisole. However, I do love this shirt. It is lovely.

Now, the book. The Wall, by Eve Bunting has beautiful paintings and a wonderful story. It chronicles the search of a boy and his father to find the boy's grandfather's name on the Vietnam Wall Memorial. If you've never been to the memorial, this book will give you some insight as to how powerful this memorial is. If you've been to the memorial, you already understand that, but this book will help to convey to your children some of that awe. The Vietnam Memorial is an amazing place and everyone should visit it as some point. This book brings a little of it into your home.

The End of Our Civilization is Near

Now, I know you probably think I'm talking about the elections, but I am so tired of politics right now (who knew that could happen to me!) that I'm not talking about politics. No, I'm talking about grammar.

Grammar is a basic need for all human beings. We are seeing a break down in our society because of poor grammar. Just look at kids these days. They wouldn't recognize a capital letter if it jumped up and down in its underwear, yelling, "I'm a capital letter!" After all, it's a waste of time to capitalize in a text message. Oh, and those emails I get, where all the letters are lowercase and there are no punctuation marks, drive me bonkers! Don't people understand that without punctuation, you have to decipher where the sentences start and end I mean really what are these people thinking what is the point of punctuation if youre not going to use it? Aaaaah!!! Every time a capital letter is left lowercase and a period dropped from the conversation, our society erodes just a little bit more.

We have acronyms for everything. I'd like to recommend this shirt for the acronym challenged or frustrated. Soon, civilians will understand what it is like to be in the military. You cannot speak more than two words without an acronym being thrown in there. LOL Ahem, I didn't say that. I don't know what is happening to me. People used to convey humor by being funny. Now, they confer it by typing things like LOL after rude statements. Oh, the tragedy, the anguish, the travesty of poor grammar.

Plant your greenhouses now, folks. Get those milk cows and water purification systems. Figure out how you're going to survive. The end is near and it will all be brought about by poor grammar.

Where have all the blog posts gone?

I know that's supposed to be, "Where have all the good men gone?" but I know the answer to that one. They're out there, you just have to find them. The blog posts are a different story. I know where they are, but you probably don't. So, I'll share. They're bouncing around in my head. If only I had voice recognition software that would filter out the shower, I could post 3 or 4 times a day. Unfortunately, out of the shower, I've been a bit depressed. Gary is leaving in a few days and I'm not happy about it. Of course, he hasn't been here that much lately, so his leaving is that much harder. This week, he's been in North Carolina since Sunday. He'll be home late tonight and will leave Sunday for five months. Now, I'm not complaining. (Don't you love it when people say that? Inevitably, they're complaining.) I'm explaining. Right now, for some reason, I feel this desperate need to soak up every second of Gary's presence like a sponge. I want to be able to slowly release it over the next five months. I know that's not how it works, but I wish it was.

However, Gary had declared that moping will not help my depression and says that I'm to get back to blogging pronto. So, here I am, and here I will be. See you tomorrow.