Is Homeschooling Abuse?

Recently, there have been many news articles about homeschoolers. It is amazing how something can be taken from relative obscurity and be thrown into the limelight overnight. By obscurity, I do not mean the act of homeschooling, but rather, the reporting on homeschooling. With one ill advised judgement, a California court threw homeschooling into the national news like kidnapping, child abuse, and murder. In fact, it seems that many people equate homeschooling to these things.

It seems to be the overwhelming opinion of people who don't know anything about homeschooling, that requiring homeschool parents to get certified would solve all the problems these people see in homeschooling. Well, in effect, they are correct. Requiring homeschoolers to have a teaching certificate would mean that a lot, if not most, current homeschoolers would not homeschool. Ergo, it would solve the problems. The only problem with that theory is that the basis for the argument is flawed. Homeschooling does not equate abuse. No more homeschoolers abuse their children than do public school or private school parents.

I will present two concepts here. First, I will discuss the idea that homeschooling, in and of itself, is abuse. Second, I will let you all know that certifying parents to teach their own children is an idiotic idea. (Yes, I said idiotic. This is my blog, I can say what I want on it!:)

It seems to me that the basis for the idea that homeschooling constitutes abuse is based on misconceptions about homeschooling. Many people seem to think that homeschoolers sit around in their house teaching their children who-knows-what. Apparently, we are all Christian wackos (their words-not mine!) who don't have anything better to do than hand our children guns and make them patrol the borders of our conclaves. Now, I'm not saying that I wouldn't like to have a conclave. And, I'm not even saying that if I did, I wouldn't teach my children how to shoot a gun. However, until I can afford to purchase that much land and that many guns and have the time to plow the land, milk the cows, spin my wool to make my clothes, butcher the chickens, (gosh, I'm going to have to stop blogging with all that on my plate).... Besides which, surprise!, I'm not a Christian.

"Gasp! What!!! Are you trying to tell me that not all homeschoolers are Christians? Why, they must be. I mean, why else would someone homeschool?"

I have repeatedly read that homeschoolers don't want their children exposed to the real world and that is why they homeschool. Now, I happen to be one of those people who doesn't want their children exposed to the underbelly of society when they are 5. I'm not really sure why people would question this need to protect children. I understand the concept of exposing children to more than one idea. However, I would challenge the person who came up with the idea of universalism to look at it from a different point of view. I want my children to have a strong grounding and understanding in themselves and God before they venture out and start looking at the other side. I understand that it is hard to understand anything when nothing is concrete. When presented with multiple viewpoints, the child is always going to choose the easiest. This is not because it is the right viewpoint, rather because a child is not a rock for the water to flow around. A child is like a leaf in a stream. It tumbles along going where the water throws it. When the water tosses it up on the shore, it stays there until it dries off, then the wind pushes it around. Eventually, it ends up in a stream again and rushes off to a new location, never in control of its own destiny. It is the parent's job to be the rock in the stream for the child to take shelter in. It is, indeed, the parent's job to be a huge boulder, protecting the child from buffeting that would eventually destroy him. Eventually, of course, a child must enter the world. Indeed, the Bible says for a man to forsake his parents. However, it does not say for a child to be thrown out upon the waves and made to fend for himself.

The idea that a child goes to school in order to experience real life is beyond my feeble brain. I ask you, what is real about our school system? Is age segregation real? No, it is not. In fact, in the adult world, it is illegal. Is it real life to only be allowed to progress at a certain rate? No, in reality, life rewards hard workers. Is it realistic to be babysat through life? Only if you're a liberal. Sorry, sorry. I couldn't resist. In actuality, our country is seeing this more and more. I believe that a school system that does not teach personal responsibility (in no way is this helped by parents that take no active role in their children's lives and sometimes sues the school when the school actually tries to do the right thing) actually hinders the students' ability to function. I would argue that going to school in no way mimics adulthood. Since school only lasts for a very small fraction of our lives, why would we want it to be so totally different from the real world?

"Homeschoolers are depriving their children from seeing poor people." Now, that has to be one of the most ignorant argument I have seen yet. Who do they think homeschool? It has been bandied about that homeschoolers are elitist. We are able to homeschool because we are lucky enough to have: money so that a parent can stay home, patience (cough, cough), who knows what else? Well, I can definitively say that homeschoolers are just like the rest of the population. Some of us are rich. Some of us are middle class, and some of us are poor. Interestingly enough, we actually meet each other. So, our children get to meet rich, middle class, and poor children. Imagine that. We are actually more integrated, in that regard, than the average public or private school. We also have no racial qualifications. If you're a homeschooler, you're welcome. You have something to contribute to my family, and I to yours. I am certainly not lucky to be staying at home with my children. It is something that we determined to do. We have. It has not always been easy, either financially or emotionally. However, I set myself to do it and I have. I could go on all day about that, but I'll save it for another post. The idea that I was given masses of patience would send anyone that truly knows me into gales of laughter. So, you can just get that one out of your head right now.

I also read the argument that parents homeschool out of selfishness and the need to control their children. I read this recently, "Someone willing to homeschool is obviously open-minded. The narrow minded approach is the 'business as usual' and 'do what everybody else is doing', which is public school. It also shows that he cares enough about his children to demand the best he can provide." I can tell you right now that if I was being selfish, I would stick my kids in public school tomorrow and sit on my butt reading smut. Then, I could get a workout in on a regular basis. I could quilt to my heart's content and pretty much do whatever I want. Instead, I have taken on the responsibility of educating my children. It is not an easy responsibility to live with. And, believe me, controlling parents will be controlling no matter where they go to school. Public/private school does not stand in the way of 'controlling' any more than it does abuse. And, I ask you, what does 'controlling' mean-in this instance. Does it mean that I expect my children to work to the best of their abilities and I don't want the teachers to give them A's for mediocre work? Does it mean that I need to make sure that they are given the best education they can get? Does it mean that I feel the need to oversee every thing in their lives? Because, believe me, I feel that is my job. That's what I signed up for when I had children. Does it mean that I make them do everything my way? Of course not. It just means that I know what is going on in their lives. I make certain decisions for them. For instance, I am the one that decides they will eat healthy food instead of junk food all day. I am the one that limits Xavier's bread intake. I am the one that does not allow Gabriel to spend all day reading.:) However, I am also the one that allows my children to play whatever they want within the bounds set for them. Children need boundaries. On the other hand, Gabriel is not ready for sex-ed. And this is the year he would be getting it. He already knows what sex is, but he blatantly pretends like he doesn't. Just like he pretends he still believes in Santa. Obviously he is not ready to face these things. However, if he was in school-being controlled by someone else-he would not be in control of his acceptance of these things.

Now, I know this has been rambling. However, I implore you to seriously think about preconceived notions about homeschooling and 'traditional' schooling. If you have any questions, complaints, or would like to make 'idiotic' comments:), please feel free. I'll try to answer them. Or, some of my readers can. Tomorrow, I'll address credentials.