How a Wolf, a Fox, a Monkey, a Tiger, and a Bear Became a Family

So, for anyone interested, here is the story of our family.

I am the fox. The fox met the wolf at a "getting to know the area" class on the base we were both stationed at. Due to the planets aligning just right, we were in the same class. Also, we lived on the same floor of the barracks, a few doors away from each other.

So, while in class, we didn't really talk to each other. But, one day, while we were outside our barracks rooms, smoking, I walked up to him and asked him, "So, how old are you? When is your birthday? Are you married? Fiance? Girlfriend? Do you have any kids?" Now, the wolf will tell you that I was fishing. The fox will tell you that I was just a very compassionate individual who liked to make sure that someone remembered your birthday, reminded you that you were married if you started eyeing the local women, and ask you about your kids occasionally.

Now, shortly thereafter, we took a philosophy class together, by chance. While in that philosophy class, we started to talk more, and found out that we had some similar ideas about the world, and we became friends. Shortly thereafter, we started dating.

When I entered the hospital to deal with an ovarian cyst, I called him and he came. He stayed at the hospital whenever he wasn't working. Since there was only one bed in my room, he chose to sleep with me. Did I mention it was a twin size bed? Here I was, hooked up to an IV, all drugged up, and, in the middle of the night, my beloved boyfriend pushes me out of bed! So, the staff of the private hospital I was in thought this was really cute and funny. In an effort to accommodate his desire to be with me, they moved me to a room that had 2 beds. As a bonus, it had a shower and a balcony. Ahhh, bliss.

Now, at the time we started dating, we were both pretty set in the idea that we didn't want to get married. During my time in the hospital, I started thinking that I was falling in love with this guy. Who wouldn't? I mean, he was painting my toenails for me! Then, he went and brought me a full Thanksgiving Dinner. Now, can I just say that at that time in my life, (probably now, too) I was ruled by my stomach? I spent almost all my money on food. I ate a ton of food. I was 5'4" and weighed 97lb. I was a light weight, but I ate like a football player. I probably consumed 3000 calories a day. Yes, I was one of those people, you know, the ones with the high metabolisms? I digress. So, obviously, the way to my heart was through my stomach, and I decided that maybe marriage wasn't such a bad idea after all.

In December, we started talking about getting married (we met in October). Gary proposed on Christmas Eve. It was Christmas Eve because he refused to let me open any of my Christmas presents before Christmas Eve, so at 12:04 A.M., I opened my engagement ring. We started planning a summer wedding back in the States (we were in Greece).

Now, remember, we were smokers. In one of our many late night conversations, I told Gary that when I got pregnant, I would stop smoking. Since we weren't planning to have children for 5 years, this was not something real pertinent. However, I have always wanted children, so it was important to me. Gary said he knew how hard it is to quit smoking when people you live with smoke, so he would stop smoking, too. Two weeks later, we found out I was pregnant. He said, "I didn't know you were planning on getting pregnant so soon!" Like he hadn't figured out that what we were doing caused pregnancy.

So, we moved up our wedding date to March. My mother and aunt happened to have already planned a trip to Greece, so we had our "wedding" while they were there. If I can figure out how to upload that video, I will. It is hilarious.

Then, in September, along came the Monkey. On Thursday, I had a Dr's appointment and he told me that if Monkey wasn't born before Monday, he was going to induce. So, of course Monkey decided that he wasn't going to be told what to do so early in his life, and came on Saturday. I spent all Friday night in labor and didn't realize it until my mom asked why I hadn't come downstairs. When Wolf told her what was going on, she said, "Get her down here, she's in labor!" Ah, first babies. After a horrible delivery experience at the hospital, I decided I was never having another baby at the hospital.

When the Monkey was 3, I gave birth to the Tiger at home. Painful birth-great experience. I wish that I could redo Monkey's but, that's way in the past.

When I was pregnant with the Bear, my husband was deployed. So, here I am, 4 months pregnant, absolutely miserable, in and out of the hospital for dehydration, and I hear my dear Wolf say, "It's okay, she's done it before!" He was talking to his boss on the phone telling him that, sure, he could leave me while I was pregnant because I'd done pregnancy without him before (he stayed in Greece while I came back to the States while I was pregnant with Monkey). Of course I had, and that was fine for him to say, but not where I, full of pregnancy hormones, could hear him!

Wolf got back from Kuwait a month before Bear was born. We moved 1 week after Bear was born. So, for each of my pregnancies, I moved either right before or right after the baby was born.

Oh, yeah, how we got our "names". When Monkey was born, Wolf and I went to the store and found the most adorable stuffed monkey. When we got home, I lay the monkey next to our 2 week old son. Low and behold, he looked just like it. Big head, round body, and skinny arms and legs. So, he was called our little monkey. Monkey named Wolf and I. Tiger has quite the growl and was given a tiger as his first stuffed animal. Bear was given a bear and growls quite often too. It is actually quite funny how their names fit their personalities.

So, that is the story of how a Wolf, a Fox, a Monkey, a Tiger, a Bear became a family.... Yes, I know this last picture doesn't have anything to do with the story, but it is such a cute picture of the Bear that I found when I was looking for the other pictures, that I couldn't resist.

The Worst Cruise Ever

If you are planning to take a cruise and are easily put off by things, don't read this post!



My husband travels, a lot. In 2006, he was gone over 4 months, but not all at one time. He was gone for 2 days here, a week there, up to 3 weeks there. Usually with a couple weeks at home thrown in between. He also had a pretty stressful job. So, one day, looking a my beloved husband, the light of my life, I noticed that he was getting a wee bit burnt out. We've always wanted to go on a cruise, so I decided to send the 5 of us on a cruise for his Christmas present.



So, a few days before Christmas, we pulled the kids out of school early, rushing from Xavier's Christmas play to the airport, and left for Orlando. To give you a hint about this trip, the best thing about it was our flight down there. We had a GREAT flight. We flew Southwest, and our male flight attendant must have been a stand up comedian in his other life, or he wanted to be. He cracked jokes the entire flight. He was actually funny, too!



So, here we are in Orlando, on our first "real" family vacation ever. In the past, we always spent all of our money visiting family. We do go camping at least once a year and that is what we consider our family vacations, which we really, really enjoy. But, this is our first commercial vacation. We've got our luggage and have just realised that the hotel we had booked has to be canceled and we have to make reservations at a new hotel. Fortunately, after much stress and strain on my part (read tears and thoughts that or vacation is ruined, I'm a little dramatic), we get settled into the hotel that is in the airport. Now, this is a really nice hotel. I would recommend it to anyone. It was the Hyatt. (As a side note here, my in-laws took the older kids and their cousin on a cruise in April 2006, and stayed in this hotel. Some of the rooms look out over the atrium of the airport and my in-laws had connecting rooms on that side. My father-in-law looked out to see my then 8 year old son climbing from one balcony to the other! Here is a picture of said balconies. As you can see, he had to climb out around the outside to get to the other balcony. Needless to say, I strongly encourage you NOT to let your children do this!)







The next morning, we got ready nice and early and waited around FOREVER (it seemed) until the bus was ready to take us to our ship. The bus ride wasn't bad, they had movies that they played for the hour we were on our way. When we got to the cruise reception area, it was to find out that their computers were broken. So, the boys played while I stood in line and waited, again, FOREVER (maybe 30 minutes?).

That first afternoon on the ship was a lot of fun. We at lunch, which was fabulous. We looked at our room. We went swimming after our luggage arrived. I suggest you keep a suit with you so you can enjoy the pool before everyone else gets their suits! When we got our suits, we went to the kiddie pool. It was packed. Dominic (3) did NOT like it. However, there was a splash zone there for little kids. I let him get in that. Shortly thereafter, I was told that that area was for toddlers 2 and under, only. What! So, what is he supposed to do? I got up my gumption and asked the attendant if he would please clear out the pool so that my son could play in it. He said as long as the other parents didn't mind, my son could play in the splash zone. Fortunately, those parents suggesting me talk to the man were the reason I managed to get my gumption up, so Dominic was allowed to play.

Gary and I had reservations for a special adult only restaurant, so we had signed the boys up for the kids' zone for that night. They ate supper at one of the many "fast food" places around the pool, then got ready to go. On our way back to our room, Gabriel (9) started complaining about feeling sick. Once there, he wanted to go to bed. Then, he threw up. Okay, obviously, he isn't going to the kids' zone, now what? We packed the other two off to the play zone and put Gabriel to bed. Now, this is the part that I was really impressed with. We called the restaurant and told them that our son had motion sickness and could we please reschedule. They asked us if we would like our meal in our room. They brought everything we could possibly want, even when we forgot to order dessert. It was a great meal. I was very impressed with their service.

Anyway, on with the story. After the meal, we picked up the other two kids and put them to bed. About 11:00, I heard coughing and then, Dominic threw up all over his bed. We called our host and he came and changed all of Dominic's sheets. Then, Dominic did it again at 1:15, and again the host came and changed all of Dominic's sheets. Then, Dominic did it again at 3:00. Again, the host came and changed all of Dominic's sheets, at which point Gary moved to Dominic's bed and Dominic joined me. For the next 5 hours, Dominic threw up ever 15 minutes. After a certain point, he could no longer hold his head up to throw up in the trash can. Since he was mostly producing phlegm and spit, I stopped worrying about it. I had a wash cloth by the bed that I held under his mouth, then threw on the floor and went back to sleep. It was a rough night. In the morning, we arrived in Bermuda. Now, I had been looking forward to Bermuda. I love traveling. We planned to spend the morning shopping and the afternoon at the beach. What could be better? Well, for one, sleep. I took Dominic to the Clinic, where they said he had the flu. Huh? The flu? The only symptom he had was vomiting. He had no other symptom. But, since they diagnosed him with the flu, he was confined to his cabin for 48 hours. Okay, this is a 3 day cruise. The first day was really 1/2 a day and that was already over. So...he was going to have to spend the rest of the cruise quarantined. Since Dominic was only 3 years old, this meant that one of the adults was quarantined, too. Since I had gotten NO sleep the night before, that meant me. Nobody was allowed to leave the ship. Since no one else had shown signs of sickness, they were allowed to leave the cabin. Dominic and I spent most of the day sleeping.

Fast forward to Thursday night. Gary is sick. In and out of the bathroom. Same symptoms, but not as bad. He didn't go to the clinic the next day. I remembered to give Gabriel his Dramamine BEFORE the ship left shore that night, so we had no seasickness.

On Friday, we were allowed to leave the ship and go to the beach. However, everyone was so tired and weak, we only stayed for an hour (long enough to eat) before we went back to our cabin.

At about 7, we get a call from the kids' zone, Gabriel's not feeling well. We go to get him, and what happens? Gabriel throws up right in the middle of the floor just as I got there. Poor kid. Thinking I didn't give him his seasickness medicine in time, I take him back to our room to relax for a bit. By the time we got there, he was ready to be sick again. Then, Xavier got sick. It was all night. They were in and out of the bathroom all night long. Close to morning, Gabriel stopped throwing up. Xavier, however, was still throwing up when the morning came. Gary carried Xavier to the clinic, where they gave him a shot. He will tell anyone who listens that while a shot in the buttocks hurts a lot, it's better than throwing up!

So, by this point, Dominic is feeling better, Gary is exhausted from taking care of the boys all night long (Thank you Gary) and neither Gabriel or Xavier can walk unsupported. We had to stand in line to go through customs and that was not fun for Gabriel or Xavier. Then, when we got to the airport, we realized that we were about 3 hours early. The cruise lines had recommended that we not get a flight until after noon to accommodate unexpected delays. That is great advice, but we have two boys in wheel chairs who are too weak to open their eyes, a husband that is exhausted, a 3 year old that needs to run, and a mom that just wants to have everyone home. So, we paid the change fee to get everyone on an earlier flight that left 20 minutes after we got to the gate. Yay!

Now, we get to Baltimore and realize that, of course, our luggage is NOT coming in on our flight. Not a big deal, we're home. Wait, our keys are in the luggage. What? Who would do a stupid thing like that? Well, an exhausted man who's brain is doing well to walk and talk, that's who! Well, I had this free rental car certificate with me that I had just gotten in the mail before we left. Gary took this and got us a rental car. Now, I say it was free, but since he had to rent a car seat, and since we didn't know when he would be able to return it...

While we waited for Gary to come back with the car, Gabriel and Xavier sat in wheel chairs while Dominic romped. Now, it is December in Baltimore and a bit chilly. We are all in short sleeves without jackets because those are locked in the van. Why? Because I knew that we were going to get right into the car when we got back. Duh! Why would we need to take them with us? So, here we are, I'm worrying that I'm going to miss Gary in his pass around the airport, because it is taking him so long. So, I take all the kids (that means pushing 2 wheelchairs) outside to watch for him. When everyone is nice and cold, I take them back inside, and like any good mother, leave them there while I go back outside to watch for Gary. Unfortunately, I can't watch for Gary and stare through the window at the boys at the same time, so I just go back inside. While we're waiting, 3 people, 2 from the airport and 1 traveler, took it upon themselves to tell me that those wheelchairs are for people who need them, not for children to play in. At this point, I am so stressed, I really want to go off on them, but instead I calmly tell them that, contrary to their uninformed opinions, my children do need them because they were sick all night and CANNOT walk. So, please, go away. Okay, forget about the good intentioned interferers. Finally, I see Gary walking up. Smart man. Apparently, Baltimore doesn't have rental cars on site, so he had to ride the bus off site, get the car and return. Then, being the highly intelligent man that he is, he parked the car and came to get us. Too bad we hadn't arranged that beforehand! LOL

Well, that's the story. It is the only Christmas I can remember where everyone slept past 9. All I can say is, if you knew us, you would know, that while this was the worst cruise possible, we all really enjoy telling this story. It is probably the best vacation story we will ever have. Which makes it a great cruise!

Was it relaxing? Not really. Was it funny? By the time we got home, it was. Will my husband ever go on a cruise again? Probably not. Which is really too bad, I really miss shipboard life. I miss being out on the ocean, surrounded by water, in the dark, feeling like I'm the only person around... Oh, back to the story.

I still don't think it was the flu. I have a nonexistent immune system. If someone sneezes 3 miles away, I get their cold. Yet, I was holding my son's spit in my hand, and believe me, I had stopped jumping up and washing my hands after a while, and I never got sick. This illness really acted like food poisoning. Since the stuff my husband and kids were eating almost always upsets my glass stomach, I was eating other stuff.... So...

Freedom's Responsibility 2

This story makes me sick. I remember the first time I heard about this. Let's get real people. This young man died defending the freedom of these people. This is so disrespectful. I would love it if you would help the young man's father who is suing the church who did this. There has to be some personal responsibility if we are to maintain our freedoms. This website has more information.

Thanksgiving...Help!!!

Let me give some background information, first. I am 30, ahhh 28, years old. I have lived outside my parents home since I was 17. I have been married for 10 years. This is the 11th holiday season I will have spent with my husband, Gary.

Greece:
The first year I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital. Gary, my new boyfriend, brought me a full Thanksgiving dinner, with 2 kinds of pie, rolls, potatoes, turkey, stuffing, and sweet potatoes. Needless to say, I decided he was a keeper!

Christmas, I had to work, but I invited about 20 people to my house for breakfast, then left before we could really get the party started.

Florida:
Thanksgiving: just the 3 of us (Gary, Gabriel 3mos & I).
Christmas: my mother, father, sister, and brother arrived Christmas morning (I think). We spent a nice relaxed holiday before they headed back home a few days later.

Florida 2:
Thanksgiving: we drove to my parents in Oklahoma for 1 day.
Christmas: we flew to Maine to visit my in-laws

Florida 3:
Thanksgiving: just the 3 of us
Christmas: just the 3 of us

Oklahoma 1:
Thanksgiving: At my mom's
Christmas: at my mom's

Oklahoma 2:
Thanksgiving: at my mom's
Christmas: at my mom's

Maine:
Thanksgiving: at my in-laws
Christmas: at my in-laws

Massachusetts 1:
Thanksgiving: in Maine at my in-laws
Christmas: at my in-laws

Massachusetts 2:
Thanksgiving: at my in-laws
Christmas: at my in-laws

Washington DC 1:
Thanksgiving: just the 5 of us at home
Christmas: just the 5 of us at home

Washington DC 2:
Thanksgiving: at my in-laws in Maine
Christmas: the worst cruise ever (more on that later) and back home just the 5 of us

Kentucky:
Thanksgiving: Oh, no! I'm going to have 8 adults and 4 children joining us for Thanksgiving weekend.

First, let me make clear, I am so excited to be having all these people at my house. I can't wait, but...

Now, I would think that it would be obvious from the above list that I don't have much entertaining experience. Just to make it clearer... In 10 years of marriage, I think we have probably had people come to our house for dinner 10 times, maybe fewer.

So, now, I am going what am I going to do? I know that on the surface, this is a silly question. After all, what my family likes to do best is sit around and talk, and play games. However, I've just never had this many people in my house for longer than a few hours and that was 6 years ago!

My question to you is this: is there anything that I need to think about before they get here, besides food? Blankets? check. Glasses for 20 people? Nope gotta buy those. Towels for 20 people? Nope, they'll have to bring their own. Silverware? gonna get plastic for everyday.

What kind of Reader are you?

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Literate Good Citizen
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

Freedom's Responsibility

Our country is a great one. We have freedom like no other people in the world. We love our freedom. We talk about that freedom. We take advantage of that freedom without even thinking about it.


Today, I want you to think about the responsibility that comes with that freedom. I want to make two points. The first is about freedom of speech and the press. The second, and more pressing, is the freedom to vote.

Freedom of speech/the press

In America, we have great freedom of speech. We have the right to a free press. There seems to be someone somewhere always yelling about their freedom of speech. Here is my problem. Just because you have the freedom to say what you want, does not mean that you should!

When the New York Times reported on a classified National Security Agency program in this Dec 23, 2005 article, they practiced freedom of the press. They also practiced irresponsible journalism. While, yes, they had the freedom to report this, they had the responsibility to protect our national security. Then, June 22, 2006, the New York Times did it again. They reported on what had been a very effective program to track the financial records of suspected terrorist activities. The program was instrumental in capturing the most wanted Qaeda figure in Southeast Asia. The New York Times said that it was necessary to let the American people know that their financial dealings might be traced. Yes, this might be a concern if you are involved in shady dealings. According to the New York Times' own article, the program is legal. It is also classified. They should not have published this.

Now, I know those cases are both over a year old. I used them to illustrate a point. Just because you know something, or think something, does not mean you should say it. Just because you have an opinion does not mean it should be spoken. It seems to me that there is a contest to see who can publish confidential material first. This is a call for responsible journalism.

Voting

To a more personal freedom. In America, citizens have the right to vote. I maintain that the have the responsibility to vote. However, if you are not willing to become informed before you vote, please don't vote. You see, I believe that even more than a responsibility to vote, our citizens have the responsibility to make an informed vote. You cannot trust the news media to inform you. You must do a bit of research. Find out the truth. Find out what your candidates stand for. Then, go and vote for the ones that agree with what you stand for. Rarely will you find a candidate who stands for everything that you stand for or that stands for it in exactly the same way that you do. So, find the one that most stands for the same things you do.

You should also sit down and make a list of what matters most to you. Some of the most publicized issues are taxes, health care, social security, the war in Iraq, global warming, abortion, immigration, education... Make a list of the issues that are important to you. Look at the candidates statements on those issues and decide which candidate you want to support.

I would strongly suggest that you go and talk to a local candidate. You can get a feel for what they really think that way. You can start to understand your local politics better. You can also let them know what you think so that they can represent you better.

Remember, our politicians are there for us! It is our responsibility to put the right ones there.

Here is my last on the subject. If you don't vote, don't complain. You don't have the "right".

Public Education part 5: Reading II

So, I've got a part 2 to reading. The previous post was about learning to read. This is about what children read.

I personally HATE the compilation reading books. Reading short stories that have little to no style does not teach the brain to think in depth. While most good schools use books to teach our children reading, there are still many schools that use these "reading texts". These texts make reading boring. Of course Johnny doesn't want to read. Why would he if these books are what he is reading? Would you?

Children should be reading books written by masters. If a child starts out reading wonderful literature, he is much more likely to want to continue to do so. A child who has only read snippets of information will not be able to consume classical texts such as The Odyssey. A child who has read an abridge version of The Odyssey will be much less scared of The Odyssey.

Our babysitter is 15. She is a bright young lady who is a great babysitter. One night recently, while Gary and I were out, she was reading aloud from one of her books. She was amazed when we got home. She said to us, "Wow! Xavier (6) is so smart. I was studying and he asked me what I was doing, so I was reading to him. He understood what I was reading. He was asking me all kinds of questions and we were really talking about it."

Now, I say that if Xavier had only been reading "age/grade appropriate" reading texts, that he would not have understood what she was reading. But, since he has been reading literature and listening to me read abridged versions of classics to him, he has a great understanding.

Yes, I know my children are gifted. But, don't all children deserve to be given the opportunity to love reading?

I Don't Cry at Hallmark Commercials

Okay, so I don't cry at Hallmark commercials, anymore. I don't cry at most things, anymore. Why? Well, it's been 4 years since I gave birth, 2 1/2 years since I stopped nursing, and 6 months since I stopped watching TV. See, that's what you have to do to stop crying at things like this.

But, I do still cry. Often. Every time one of my idiot friends sends me pictures of someone holding a flag. Or when I see a child hugging their father after a deployment. This post made me bawl. Why? Well, take a look at it. This is what should happen when every one of our fallen soldiers gets laid to rest.

I am a very patriotic person. I always have been. So, I will continue to tear up when I hear our National Anthem (yes, when I lived on base, I teared up every night at 5), when I see our flag flying, when I see our men and women in uniform, when I see daddies getting hugs from sons and daughters. These are the things that make me cry.

They Did It Again! 11-2

They did it again! Came back from a 3-1 game deficit to win the league championship series. What a game. I know to look at the final score, it looks like the Red Sox blew the Indians out of the water, but it was close. The Indians are a really good team. They were hard to beat. Can I just say, did you see some of those catches Cabrera made? And Grady Sizemore? Wow, I think that boy took several facers to catch balls. For all you Indians fans out there, I told my husband before this series began, and I maintain, "If we were going to get beaten, I'd rather it be by the Indians than the Yankees." I hope you do well again next year.

Wow! Look at our rookies! Dustin Pedroia with a home run in the 8th? Jacoby Ellsbury with some great hits and running. Then, what about J.D. Drew? I think he is the Red Sox fans' hero, along with Josh Beckett.

Rockies, here we come! See you Wednesday!

Hooray for the fork in the branch!

I love being a Mommy! To be able to tell you one story, I have to tell you another. Just so you know, I had just told my 3 boys this story when our "warm fuzzy" moment happened.

When I was 3 or 4, (which was it, Mom?) I climbed to the top of a tree in our yard. Then, I proceeded to let go of the tree with both hands so that I could blow my whistle. Ummm, this is not indicitive of any future idiocy!

I then fell a good 14 feet toward the ground--head first. When my head was about 5 inches from the ground, my foot caught in a fork in a branch.

So, after listening to this story, my oldest son, 10, said, "Hooray for the fork in the branch! If it wasn't for that, we wouldn't have such a wonderful mom."

Awww.

Red Sox 2

So, my sons are playing baseball in the house. Fortunately, without a ball. Dominic, age 4, says to me, "Mom, I just scored three home runs. The Red Sox have World "Serious" in the bag!" Gotta love those Red Sox fans.

Public Education part 4: Reading

So as to address each facet of what I care about in public education, I will separate the main part of these postings into subjects, that may include but are not limited to: reading, spelling, math, writing, socialization, sex education, history, science, standardized testing, gifted education, etc.

First, I will address reading.

First some statistics.

According to the 2003 National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), 37 percent of fourth graders and 26 percent of eighth graders cannot read at the basic level; and on the 2002 NAEP 26 percent of twelfth graders cannot read at the basic level. That is, when reading grade appropriate text these students cannot extract the general meaning or make obvious connections between the text and their own experiences or make simple inferences from the text. In other words, they cannot understand what they have read.


When the State of Arizona projects how many prison beds it will need, it factors in the number of kids who read well in fourth grade.

15% of all 4th graders read no faster than 74 words per minute, a pace at which it would be difficult to keep track of ideas as they are developing within the sentence and across the page.

Forty-four percent of American 4th grade students cannot read fluently, even when they read grade-level stories aloud under supportive testing conditions.

These statistics were found at The Literacy Company's website.

Now, why I think we have this problem.

Whole Language vs. Phonics

Phonics is the best way to teach reading. Our language is an auditory language. (Obviously, profoundly deaf people cannot learn to read phonetically, so they need something different.) In the 1930s, the "whole language" method of teaching reading took over our education systems. There were two main reasons for this.

1. Proficient readers don't sound out words. Instead, they look at a word and process it all at once. That is why you can read things that are grossly misspelled. If this is the case for good readers, we should just teach children this from the start. Instead of learning phonetic letter combinations and sounding words out, children are taught each word separately.

2. Whole word teaching is supposed to save children from the drudgery of repetition and drill.

Halycon says about whole-word teaching that "whole language is nothing more than rote memorization of every word in the English language." How can that be easier than learning the phonetic rules of the English language?

Whole-word teaching has been deemed a failure and rightly so. However, instead of returning to phonics, children are using what is called "whole language" learning. Basically, children are surrounded by words and left to figure out what they mean. They are immersed in language. I think that immersion in language is a great thing. It gives children a basis for understanding what they are reading. However, it doesn't teach a child to read.

While most school systems say that they don't use the whole-word method exclusively, but use it in conjunction with phonics, the phonics is usually incidental. This is called "developing phonemic awareness." In The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to a Classical Education at Home, Susan Wise Bauer and Jessie Wise say,

It's also called "whole-to-parts phonics instruction" because the student is given the "whole" (the entire word) and only later is told about the "parts" (the letter sounds) that make it up. Granted, it's an improvement on pure look-say, which never lets on that there's any connection between words and the letters that make them up. But whole-language teaching still encourages children to guess. They see a familiar combination of letters, but they haven't learned the letters that come after. They see a words that starts with in- but then they have to use context to figure out whether the word is incidental, incident, inside, incite, and so forth. And unless a teacher is standing over them to help, they have no tools to read the rest of the word."

You don't expect a child to understand the rules of the classroom without telling them to him first. As a matter of fact, learning the rules of the classroom (no talking out of turn, raising your hand, no hitting, etc.) is one of the first things children do each school year. Why then, do we expect children to be able to read without first learning the rules of reading?

When children are young, they like repetition. No, I would go so far as to say, they LOVE it! Why else would a child sing the same song 50 times in a row? If you are a parent, I'm sure you've noticed this. Children like to do the same thing over and over again. That is how young children learn. Children do not need pictures and context to learn to read. They need phonics.

Phonics teaches children to read using rules. This allows them to look at a word, sound it out, and say, "Oh, I know that word, it's "mat"!" Yes, the first part of learning to read phonics can be slow going. Indeed, it can seem excruciating to adults (who don't really care for repetition!). However, once a child learns to read phonetically, he can read anything. He will quickly progress from reading Bob Books, to picture books, to chapter books. He'll be able to read books that contain words he's never seen before because he'll know how to sound out those words.

Most remedial reading teaching is done using phonics. If phonics is good for remedial reading, why not start with it? If it helps children who have a hard time learning how to read, wouldn't it help the other kids learn even faster? If the children are proficient in reading, they'll enjoy reading more.

We constantly try to encourage our children to enjoy reading. Who can enjoy something that is so difficult to do? If you are not given the tools to learn to read, you won't learn. It's as simple as that.

man/woman/person...Hillary Clinton

A HUGE pet peeve of mine is the idea that calling a woman a man is somehow this horrible, awful thing. Bear with me on this and see what I am talking about.

Frequently, when people find out I was in the Navy, they want to know what job I had. I reply, "I was a radioman." 90% of the time, they say, "Don't you mean radio-woman?"

NO! I said what I meant, "The man denotes the fact that I am a human and not a dog."

So, then there is the whole practice of using "he" when referring to any person in general, which could mean he or she. I think this is a very practical concept. When you need to refer in general to someone who might be male or female, it is just easier to say "he".

There are some women who get offended by this. "That article was talking about children and kept referring to them as he. I only have daughters..." And on and on and on. There are some people who say that using he/man/boy to refer to women in this context is degrading to women and a sign of the male dominated society we live in.

I say that if a woman is cowed by this, then she probably needs something that changing everything to female context will not help. She has no confidence in her own abilities.

Many people think that women will vote for Hillary Clinton just because she is a woman. I say that if a person votes for Senator Clinton just because she is a woman, that person does not deserve to vote. All other things being equal, if you want to vote for a person because he has blond hair, is black, or a woman, then go for it. However, you really need to look at everything else, FIRST. If we are indeed equal, then why must we promote ourselves based on the fact that we are women?

If Senator Clinton is elected because people voted for her JUST because she is a woman, then she will not only be the first woman president, she'll be the first affirmative action president, too.

Red Sox

Woo hoo! They won the game, tonight! Great pitching by Josh Beckett. Thanks! Can't wait for Saturday night in Boston.

Thankfulness

In October of 2003, the Red Sox were losing the ALCS to the Yankees and my oldest son broke his arm. We took him to the ER. It was obvious he had broken his arm. It was dangling.

At the ER, we waited while they took x-rays and spoke to the surgeon. About this time (a couple hours later), my husband took my other 2 sons home to get supper. He took the youngest (4 mos) with him so that I could focus on my oldest. I would have taken them if my son hadn't asked me to stay. The only problem with this is that while he was gone, the hospital decided to transport Gabriel to Boston Children's Hospital (BCH) an hour away.

Not a big deal, right? Well, we had only lived in the area for 4 months and had not been TO Boston yet, although we had been THROUGH it multiple times. Also, my youngest son was nursing. He refused to take a bottle. The Red Sox were playing in Boston that night, which meant the traffic was terrible! My husband got lost on the way to the hospital. With 2 screaming children in the back seat, he finally reached the hospital 3 hours later. I think that if the kids had just been mad, it wouldn't have been a big deal. But, he knew Dominic was hungry, so he was feeling bad which didn't help him find the hospital any sooner!

So, after we all got situated at BCH, Gary's parents (who live in Maine), met us there and picked up the 2 year old and took him home with them. Then, we waited. Gabriel had just eaten a granola bar when he broke his arm. He had to wait 6 hours before he could have his surgery. Finally, at 1 AM, they did his surgery. Dominic slept on the chairs in the waiting room while I paced and Gary tried to ignore everything.

This was a comedy of errors. It seemed like dominoes that were falling. But, when they took us to Gabriel's room for the night, I found something to be thankful for. The ward he was in was usually reserved for cancer patients. I can only say that my heart goes out to the parents of all those children even now, 5 years later. We were only there over night. I cannot begin to imagine what it is like to know that your child has cancer.

So, I went from being exhausted and worried to being thankful in an instant. Today, I try to find small things to be thankful for. Today, I am thankful for the fact that all 3 of my children are healthy and I get to watch them grow up. Although, I guess that's not such a small thing after all!

What are you thankful for?

SLOOOOOW!

Have you ever noticed how very slow children are? I bet you were in a hurry when you did!

Every time my children are ready to move onto that next developmental stage, I dread it. Take for instance walking. When your children are not yet walking, you pick them up, throw them in a stroller and take off--at your pace. Once they start walking, they want to walk ALL the time. you then have to plan on leaving 45 minutes earlier than you used to because they have to walk down the steps which takes at least 3 times as long, walk to the car, climb into their car seat, climb out of their car seat, climb out of the car, walk to where ever you are going, etc.

Then, there is potty training. When they have a dirty diaper, you lay them down (if they'll stop long enough to lay down), change their diaper, and you're on your way. Potty training goes something like this: First, they raise the lid on the toilet. Then, they lower their pants, then their underwear. Finally, they have to decide if they want you to put them on the toilet, or put themselves on the toilet, always a tough decision. Then, they have to relax to be able to use the toilet. Depending on the kid, this could take anywhere from a second to an hour. Then, they have to stand back up, pull up their underwear, pull up their pants, wash their hands, wash your hands, wash the sink, wash the floor, and then dry everything.

Now, for us, it's dressing himself. While Dominic has been dressing himself for a couple years, now, he has recently become very deliberate about it. He has to do it in a certain order. I understand this. I am the same way. If you throw off the routine, his whole morning is shot. So, what used to be a 5 minute affair, can take up to 30 minutes while he searches for just the right shirt, pants, socks and shoes. What does this mean to me? I have to plan for it.

I am big on picking my battles. This is not one I choose to fight. Unfortunately, I have a horrible memory and frequently forget that dressing is in slow mode, right now. So, I am frequently saying, "Hurry! We need to leave." Of course, frequent is a relative term in my house. We don't actually leave the house more than 3 or 4 times a week. I guess frequent is relevant to the percentage of times I am rushing him.

I am trying to remember that children are slow. Xavier is slow at transitions. Every transition has to be well prepared for. Gabriel is slow when there is any type of writing in the room. He has to read it. Oh well. It's just another one of those things.

Have you noticed how long winded I am about the most mundane things? My husband says I need to get help for that. LOL

Public Education (with a little private thrown in) part 3: my son

So, on to my son. My son is bright. He started kindergarten not being able to read at all. The reason for this is simple. He refused to read. I'm pretty sure he already knew how to read, because within a month of starting school, he was reading on a 1st grade level. By the end of kindergarten, he was reading on a 3rd grade level. His teacher was amazing. The reading specialist told her that she needed to restructure her reading program so that she wouldn't hold my son and 1 other boy in her class back. So, she put together 3 reading groups. One of those groups only had 2 kids in it. Oh, how unfair to the other children! Not so. She had every one of those 20 children in her classroom reading by the end of kindergarten, even though 5 of them started kindergarten speaking little to no English.


We moved between my son's kindergarten year and 1st grade. His first grade teacher was awful for him. I really think that part of the problem was that she had spent the last 19 years teaching K-1 and didn't know how to deal with a gifted student. So, instead of letting him move on, she made him start reading with his finger again. She made him start counting on his fingers again. By the end of 1st grade, my son was so convinced that he was bad at math (this the child who was adding and subtracting in his head at 4), that for 3 years, he really WAS bad at math.


So, in an effort to help him, we decided to homeschool him. The only problem was that I thought he needed to "catch up". I made him sit and do math for 3 hours. We had a terrible year. So, for 3rd grade, we sent him to a private school.

During 3rd and 4th grade, my son worked at grade level for everything. His school had differentiated learning, but not gifted. I chose this school because his psyche needed to be repaired. I knew his academics would catch up later. In 3rd and 4th grades, he had great teachers. He loved them and they loved him. I'm sure their 5th grade teacher is great. We moved in April, so he isn't attending that school anymore. Quite frankly, I doubt he would be attending there this year, anyway. He was ready to move on academically and be challenged.

So, we moved to Kentucky in May. We moved to the "best school district in the state". This county has IEPs for gifted students. IEPs are Individual Education Plans. I was ecstatic about this. I thought, finally, we'll be able to get him what he needs. I enrolled him in school and talked to the councilor and principal about the gifted program. Well, first he would have to be recommended by his teacher.

Can his 4th grade teacher recommend him? No, it has to be a teacher from our school.

Can you go based on his test scores? (His composite score was 99%, which basically meant they weren't testing him at a high enough level to really test his knowledge.) No, we have to have a teacher recommendation from our school.

So, that means that he'll have to wait until at least the middle of 5th grade to get into the gifted program? Well, they really don't do anything with the gifted program until middle school, anyway.

My son really needs something now, especially for his reading. Well, our reading is very advanced.

So, I took a look at the reading program they had in place. While the reading program was challenging and used whole books versus excerpts, which I am a HUGE fan of, these were books my son had read in 2nd grade. So, no, there was not going to be any challenge.

All summer, I argued with myself about what I wanted to do about the situation. My sons are seeking friends. I have social anxieties. How can I introduce my children to other children if I don't know any. The closest homeschool groups are Christian. We are not Christians. What to do. Finally, two weeks before school started, I made my decision. We would homeschool.

As soon as I got all of their curriculum, we started school. We actually started a week before the public schools did because my husband was out of town. This meant that when he got back, we could take a week off to spend time with him.

So, now it is working out really well. My son is reading The Iliad. He is also reading all the "Little House" books. I have set him two reading times each day. For the first, he tackles The Iliad (his choice) because it is a challenge to him. The second time is "free" reading time. I still pick the books for him by having a range of books available for him to choose from, but they are at or below his current reading level. This is fun reading that allows him to consume all those books that he would miss if he just skipped right from 4th grade to The Iliad. I think he's enjoying this. His only complaint about The Iliad is that Agamemnon is quite long winded. The only problem with him reading The Iliad is that I don't really care for it, but I'm having to read it so that I can discuss it with him. Oh, well. Maybe I can get him to read Don Quixote next.

So, that's my personal experience with public education, with just a bit of private thrown in for interest. In the next post, I will start to discuss what I think of public education in many different ways.

Public Education part 2: My brother and sister

So, my older brother's story I will make short and sweet. My brother was brilliant. Unfortunately, when he took tests, he only showed up brilliant in some things. So, the school would not let him take part in the gifted education program. That was against their policy. "It didn't help," said the councilor, "that he wouldn't put his books down long enough to really concentrate on the tests." My brother was an outcast because he was different. He could not figure out how to function in normal social settings. The other outcasts took him in. In order to slow his brain down (I think), he started doing drugs. When you're on drugs, your brain doesn't have to deal with the depth of things he dealt with on a daily basis. My brother did not finish high school. My brother went to prison when he was 19. While there, he taught himself calculus. Our high school computer teacher sent him problems he was working on and my brother sent back programs for him. He came up with theories about Einstein's theory of relativity that are even now being explored in the scientific community, 13 years later. My brother drowned when he 24, 6 months after getting out of prison. We have no idea what my brother could have accomplished. This is not a sob story. I understand that he made his own decisions, I am telling it to you so that you'll understand my son's story and why I have made the choices for him that I have.





My sister, beautiful, intelligent, sweet, soft hearted, sensitive, imaginative, hated school. There were many reasons. One might be that she started kindergarten the same year my older brother went to prison. That can't be easy. But, by third grade, she was a trouble maker. The teacher came up with one reason. "She already knows everything I'm teaching her." The main problem with this being, obviously, that if you're just sitting there bored, you'll make trouble. By 6th grade, she had stopped making trouble and started internalizing (like my psycho-babble?) everything. She had frequent headaches and stomachaches. By midyear, she was begging to do something different. The other kids in school made fun of her. The teachers ignored her. It was not a good situation. My dad pulled her out of school and started homeschooling her. By the time she graduated at 16, she was on a much more even keel emotionally. She went to college and got her associates, although I'm not sure if she's planning to get her bachelor's. She is a wonderful woman and I am quite pleased by how she "turned out" LOL. My only question is, would she have survived another 6 years of school? By the way, I just spoke to her to get her permission to post this info, since she is a live human. She says that she wouldn't have survived another 6 years because she was already sunk deep in depression and was having suicidal thoughts. Homeschooling probably saved her life.

What's in a Name

Okay, so, I have a dilemma that I've dealt with for 10 years, now.

In this world of relaxed differences between adults and children, I see many children (myself included when I was a child) that call adults by their first names. I want children to call me "Mrs. Blah". I want children to call my husband "Mr. Blah". I want my children to call the neighbors "Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So".

I don't want adults introducing themselves to my children in this manner, "Hi, I'm Janet." I strongly believe that the separation between adults and children needs to be more than abstract. It blurs the line of authority when children are able to address adults on an equal footing.

In The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, Wendy Mogel, Ph.D. says
Equality between adults and children does not give children a sense of self-esteem. Instead, it frightens them by sending the message that their parents are not firmly in charge. By refusing to be authority figures, these parents don't empower their children, they make them insecure.

Many adults say, "Oh, just call me Miss Lucy. It's a southern thing." Do these parents know where this thing came from? Calling a servant or a slave Miss Lucy was not a form of respect. But, that is where it came from. After all, these servants and slaves did not have last names. They were not people. Many parents refused to let their children call the servants (including nannies and governesses) anything other than their first name (even thought, legally, the servants had last names).

Then, there are the adults who say, "Mrs. Jones is my mother-in-law." or, "Mr. Jones is my dad. It makes me feel old." Grow up! Once you become an adult, you become Mr. Jones.

So, after much thought and talking to other people about this issue, I think I have finally come up with several reasons people want children to call them by their first name. Here they are.

1. The adults don't want to be adults.
2. Thanks to promiscuity and frequent remarriages, and divorces, many parents don't have the same last name as their children. That can be awkward when Johnny's friend says, "Mrs. So-and-So...." and you have to say, "Oh, no! Honey, my name is Mrs. Blah. Johnny's last name is not the same as mine."
3. Adults think that children can't pronounce "difficult" last names. If a 2 year old can pronounce and rattle off a dozen scientific dinosaur names, she can remember who's mommy is called what and figure out how to say it. It might not always come out just right, but get over it.
4. Adults think it is difficult for children to understand why mommy calls Johnny's mommy Janet, but Suzy has to call Johnny's mommy Mrs. Blah. Children understand that there are different names for things. Most children call their moms "Mom", while their dad calls their mom "Janet". This is not really a problem unless you are bent on indulging your child's every whim.
5. Adults just want to be friends. Again--GROW UP!

Okay, so that's it. If you introduce your child to me by saying, this is Kristina. I will look at your child and say, "Please, call me Mrs. Blah." If you introduce yourself to my children by your first name, I will tell them, "You may call her Mrs. So-and-So." If this offends you, perhaps you need to sit down, have a long talk with yourself over whether or not your are an adult, and come to grips with it.

Public Education part 1:Me

So, I'm going to post a series of posts about public education. This first part will give you a brief history of my personal experience with public and private education.

I went to 5 different public schools in these rotations: Kindergarten, 1- half of 7th, 3/4 of 9th, last quarter of 9th-half of 10th, 2nd half of 10th-12.

I loved my kindergarten and 1st grade teachers. My 2nd grade teacher was an alcoholic who liked to bang her shoe on the wall when she lost control. I got in a lot of trouble in that class:). My very favorite teacher was my 3rd grade teacher. My 4th grade teacher liked to throw chairs across the room when she got mad, still liked her, though. I started a pull-out gifted program in 4th grade. Basically, they pulled us out twice a week to go play with words in another classroom for an hour. It was fun, but didn't change the fact that the basic classroom work was boring.

In 5th grade, I went into a more intensive gifted program. I had homeroom with all the rest of the 5th graders, although the only time I spent in the classroom was after lunch for social studies. The rest of the time, I spent in a mixed classroom of 5th and 6th graders. There were about 12 of us. We had just about all our classes together. Except for that social studies class, gym (with the 6th graders), art, and computer classes, everything was accelerated. By the end of 6th grade I had done a term paper just like I did for all the college classes I took.

This program ended up not being a good fit for me because the gifted teacher and I did not get along. Basically, she frequently thought I was calling her names and lying to her at a time in my life when I wouldn't have dreamed of it. She did come up with some great names for herself that she thought I had said. Really, come to think of it, she did have a name that was easy to mishear. I really liked her, thought she was so cool. Unfortunately, we just couldn't get past the fact that she thought I was a lying to her. Since I hate lying, have always hated people who do it and refuse to do it myself, that was a sticking point.

So, my parents took me out of her class and kept me in the rest of the gifted program at my school. Unfortunately, this meant that I was in with the "regular" students. I hated this. We were doing things that I had learned long before. It felt like a huge waste of time. So, finally, I asked my dad to homeschool me 1/2 through 7th grade (he was already homeschooling my older brother-more on that in a moment).

We moved to Oregon from Oklahoma the summer after my 7th grade year. When I begged my dad to let me go back to school (okay, I said, "Can I go back to school and he said, "Okay"), instead of enrolling me in the local middle school, he took me to the high school and enrolled me in 9th grade. He enrolled me in all the advanced classes, most of which were mostly sophomores, and let me go. I made straight A's while I was there. I loved that school. My English class was not boring. I do remember thinking, why are these books so hard for the other kids to understand. I really think the reason for this is that my parents taught me to read the Old King James Bible which contains Old English. If you can understand that, you can understand Shakespeare, Homer, and Charles Dickens.

So, then, we moved back to Oklahoma, and I started in all the advanced classes at the local high school. Ugh! It was a waste of my time. I almost flunked algebra after transferring with a grade point average of 105% (I love math and did all the extra credit I could get my hands on). Why did I almost flunk? Because I slept through class. My teacher had a very bad monotone. Nice guy, just monotone. My assigned seat was at the back of the classroom, in the nice warm sunshine and I just slept. It's a bad habit of mine, sleeping through boring things.

We moved again my Sophomore year, mainly to get out of the school district that we were in. There was a lot of violence in the elementary school (the one that had previously been such an excellent school) and it just wasn't good for my younger brother. So, midway through my Sophomore year, we moved to a new school. I went from being in the minority at my old school to a school where there was only one color of student. I know, many of you think this doesn't matter. Why it matters to me is the broad picture that it gave me of society. Even at schools where there is no race difference (at all), there is discrimination among the students. It's not all about race.

Again, I was stuck in all the advanced classes. By my senior year, the only class I didn't feel was a waste of my time was band. It was the only thing I had to work at to make good grades in.

So, that's my story.

Free Speech/Debate

Okay. So, I have freedom of speech, right? So does every other American citizen.

Freedom of speech seems to be the most touted right that we have as Americans. If you want to down America, go ahead. If you want to down the American military, go ahead. If you want to promote socialism, go ahead. If you want to speak against pro-life people, go ahead.

However, if you speak about "pro-choice", it is hate speech. If you speak out against the public school system, look out. If you speak out against illegal immigrants, it is hate speech. If you speak against working parents, it is hate speech. It isn't freedom of speech, but rather hate speech.

Soon, in the interest of political correctness, conservatives won't be able to speak at all. Please, understand that I have no problem debating topics. Indeed, I enjoy it.

I think that too many people in this country don't want to hear the other side. They want to live in their little glowing bubble that allows them to believe that whatever they are doing is right. You know what? Slave owners lived in that bubble, too. Men lived in that bubble when they wouldn't allow women equal rights. People live in this bubble, now.

Politically correct is such a misnomer. Politically correct for whom? If it is politically correct, then EVERYONE must agree. Otherwise, in some circles, it is politically INcorrect.

My pet peeve is giving some people freedom of speech and not others. You see, I don't agree that moms should go to work. However, I'm not allowed to say that. If I do, it is attacking working mothers. You know, if you could win the debate based on merit, you would welcome the attack. When attacked in a debate, you have the chance to tell your side. You have the opportunity to actually debate the issue. You have the opportunity to come back with research and facts.

There is so much benefit to debate that our country is missing out on. We spend so much time tip-toeing around peoples' feelings, that we never get any real discussion done. Let's get back to intelligent discussion. It will help our country, children, and ourselves immensely.

In "defense" of Being a Stay-at-home Mom: Why it's good

So, in my last post, I innumerate some of the reasons it was bad to be in daycare and ways to remedy this.
Someone preferred that I defend my position instead of attacking theirs. While I maintain that I believe that there is only one choice (if a mother HAS to work that is not a choice), and I don't believe that stay-at-home moms need defending....


In this post, I will list some of the reasons it is good to be a stay-at-home mom and why it is good to be a stay-at-home kid.



Benefits for the Stay-at-home moms:

1. You don't have to take time off when your kids are sick.

2. You get to see all your kids' developmental firsts (unless you're off for some alone time while dad watches the kids:)

3. You get to choose who your kids are friends with.

4. You get to decide what morals to teach your children.

5. You know that your kids are safe.

6. You don't have to search for a day care.

7. You can easily nurse your child.

8. You save money by not paying for day care, professional clothes, dry cleaning, etc.

9. You might have time to catch up on some reading.

10. You get to know your kids really, really well.

11. You get to have as many kids as you want without worrying about the cost of day care and missing work for maternity leave.

12. You know that if there's any sexual discrimination in your chosen profession, it's in your favor (stay-at-home dads are in the minority here!).

13. You get to cuddle with your kids on their schedule.

14. If your kids happen to sleep in, so can you.

15. When your husband gets home, you can focus on him, instead of the kids.

16. You get to cook dinner for your family.

17. You get to decide when your children are exposed to racism.

18. you get to decide when your children are exposed to sex.

19. You get to decide what your children watch.

20. You get the satisfaction of watching your children grow up and knowing that you're the reason they're such great kids.

Benefits for a Stay-at-home Kid:

1. You know where your mom is when you want her.

2. You know you're the most important thing in your mom's life (perhaps second to your dad).

3. You know where you're going to eat dinner.

4. You get more time to play.

5. You get to know your brothers and sisters, if you have any, not just the kids in your age group at day care.

6. You get to play with your toys.

7. Mom can read to you.

8. Mom's focused on you, instead of work.

9. You know your place in the world is secure.

10. You feel safe.

11. You know that if someone or something is bothering you, you can talk to your mom about it any time of the day or night.

12. You can sleep in.

13. You can run around in your pj's all day (if your mom lets you LOL).

14. You can relax.

15. Your mom gets to be the room mom in school (or the teacher:).

16. If you're only a little bit sick, not even contagious, just feeling icky, you know your mom will be able to take care of you.

17. You get to go grocery shopping (one of my kids' favorite activities-go figure).

18. You get to play what you want, when you want; not based on someone else's schedule.

19. If you're cold, you can have some hot chocolate, even in the middle of summer.

20. You can help cook dinner.

From a child's eye view:When asked why they like having a stay-at-home mom.

10yo: I don't have to worry about bullies.

6yo: I get to be with you, Mom.

4yo: I get to be with my brothers.

Stay-at-home moms--NOT politically correct!

Addendum: My position is clear. Children need stay-at-home parents.

First, let me say, I am not politically correct. I don't believe that everyone should be able to do whatever they choose to do without condemnation from other people. I am a very judgemental person. I am proud of that fact. If I were not judgemental, I would not be able to look at all the information and make decisions for myself. I would have to go with the popular thing to do.

The popular thing to do right now is to either not condemn or not comment on a woman's choice to be a working mother.

Well, I'm not doing the popular thing in this rant.

I am a stay-at-home mom. The reason I am a stay-at-home mom is very simple. I have children. All children should have a stay-at-home parent. I personally believe that it makes the most sense nurturing wise for the mom to stay at home. I don't, however, care which parent stays home.

(One caveat to this: if you are widowed, or you are adopting a "special needs child (children that have a hard time finding parents)" go for it. Obviously, if you are a widow, you didn't have a lot of choice in the matter. (I suggest that all spouses have enough insurance that they can continue to be stay-at-home parents if their spouse dies) Special needs children need parents so badly, that I really don't care if you have to work most of the time to be able to support them, it is still better than them being in foster care for the rest of their lives. (this is not a dig at foster parents)

Children need to be loved, nurtured, and cared for. When you drop your kid off at day care, you are giving someone else the right to raise them. If you don't want to raise children, you shouldn't have them. Daycares should not be raising our children. We should. No, I don't think you have the right to choose whether you want to be a stay-at-home mom or a "working" mom. Did your child get a choice whether they wanted to get up at 5 in the morning, be dropped off at daycare by 7, left there until you get off work, whether it be 3 of 7, picked up, taken home, given supper, a bath and put to bed? You're not parenting your child. You're putting him to bed.

"I spend all weekend with my child!" So, you spend 2 out of 7 days with your child. Who is really the parent? Who is that child really bonded to? Most daycares have "classrooms" set up according to age. So, when your child turns 1, she gets a new teacher. How does this help a child bond? She is constantly pulled away from her caregiver and given to a new one. In homes, this is called foster care. It is not good for children.

"Well, my child only goes to daycare 3 mos, 6mos, 9mos, 10mos a year." What, so for 2 months you jerk your child away from their comfort zone, their primary care provider, the person they spent the last 10 months bonding with, and their "brothers and sisters"? You force them to bond with you. The only problem is that now, they are having major separation anxieties because they have been taken away from the person they call "mom" in their heart. This is the equivalent of sending your child away for 2 months every year and when they get back, your husband has a new wife each time (since when they go back to daycare, they have a new teacher).

If you want to have a child, stay at home with them until they are old enough to attend school. I will give you that children are well bonded by the time they are 5. Most understand that you'll be back at the end of the day to pick them up. But, you do need to be home when they get home from school. Why? Well, if they are in after-school care until 6/7, when will they see you? When will they get to do their homework? When will they get to be kids who see their yard and their stuff? When will they get to just relax?

So, ladies, yes, you have to put your career on hold for a while if you want to have kids. If your career is more important than children, then, just don't have them!!!! I understand that your earning potential when you go back to work will not be as high as someone who worked all the way through. You, however, will have had a very fulfilling life. I am not saying that having children is for everyone. In fact, I believe that the belief that children are necessary to happiness is part of the reason we have so many children in daycare. The problem as I see it is that people "want it all". Well, you really need to consider your children instead of yourself all the time.

"But I'll be a much happier mommy if I'm working, which will mean my children are happier." Selfish argument number 2. (Number 1 was But I want to keep my career) You do not need a career to be happy. Your career does not make you happy. You make you happy. If you determine that you will be happy, you can be happy. Oh, I know that there are chemical problems that can cause depression, but those are going to happen whether you're at work or not. If you are the type person who needs to stay busy to be happy, fine. There are lots of things you can do to stay busy. All of them include your child. There are moms' groups. There are ways for you to volunteer with your child. You can take online courses to keep up with your profession. You could even work on getting your masters/ doctorates, etc, while staying at home with your child. I have no problem with you leaving your child for several hours a week to take a college course. There's the park, the library, the book store, and the mall. There's the homeless shelter, the food bank, and the soup kitchen. There's the zoo, the museum, and the aquarium. Will it take a while for you to get used to being at home all the time? Of course it will. Will you go crazy, sometimes? If you don't, I wouldn't consider you normal. Should you get out of the house, occasionally? Of course you should.

"None of my friends are stay-at-home moms." If there were more stay-at-home moms, this would not be an issue. You might have a hard time finding kids in your neighborhood for your little one to play with. Most children are in daycare. If you need to make new friends, find a moms' group. There are plenty.

"But I want to give my children ________" Do your children need ______? Are they going to be able to grow up and be fulfilled if they don't have _________? Can you cut out something in your life (cable, debt, 2nd car, large house) to be able to afford _______? Is there some other way ________ can be fulfilled? Can you find a cheaper way to get ________? Does your child really need __________ now, or can he wait a few years? Is your child really going to miss out on something if she doesn't start dance when she is 3? Or football when he is 5? Or hockey when he is 4? Or gymnastics, or art, or music, or whatever. What about toys? Do kids really need all those toys? Children today have too many toys. They don't know what to play with. Books can be gotten from the library. What children really need is a chance to be children. They need to play actively. They need to run around outside. They need to play quietly with a puzzle. They need to build a tower of blocks and knock it down and giggle with glee. They need you to hug them when they fall down. They need you to explain to them why the birdy died. They need you.

If you want to have children and a career, too. I suggest you adopt school age children. Most of these children are in desperate need of parents.

Finally, please, please, please, stop calling your daycare a preschool when your child is 8 weeks old. It is a daycare!

Because I believe that the comments on this post were personal in nature and really needed to be kept in the family versus on a public forum, I have removed them. If anyone would like to debate this topic with me, please do so.

Rush Limbaugh: Anatomy of a Smear

Rush Limbaugh has recently been the target of a smear campaign by Democrat liberals. They are saying that he said that anti-war soldiers are "phony soldiers". As someone who listens to the Rush Limbaugh show avidly, and as a military spouse, I can say that Rush did not say that anti-war soldiers are "phony soldiers." Rather, he said that there are "soldiers" out there who the media and anti-war campaign are holding up as poster-boys that are actual phony soldiers.

The list is amazing. There are people out there faking military service to get veterans benefits, to lend them credit in their fight against the war, and to lend them credit in their political campaigns. The specific soldier Rush was talking about in specific is named Jesse MacBeth. He was born Jesse Al-Zaid. Jesse "MacBeth" was in the Army for 44 days (this is not long enough to finish basic training). He claimed to be an Army Ranger and Purple Heart veteran of Iraq. He claimed that while in Iraq, they killed men, women, and children in a mosque and hung them from the rafters (in the mosque). This was translated into Arabic and put on the internet. In my opinion, not only is Jesse "MacBeth" a phony soldier, he is a traitor and should be shot under military law that says if you are a traitor during war time, you can be put to death.

Check out this YouTube video of what Rush actually said!